Restaurant Wars

Soon we’ll need restaurants strictly for Republicans, others for Democrats. We’ll need separate eateries for Muslims and Christians. Different luncheonettes for geniuses and idiots. Particular pizzerias for civil rights activists, others for the indifferent. Separate diners for dog owners and cat lovers. And what if, let’s say, tax collectors ever want to dine with garbage collectors, or those with halitosis want to eat with those who communicate by osmosis? New hasheries will need to be created, of course! Soon the land will be filled with restaurants of wildly different ethnic, political, and sexual orientations. All this food, and not nearly enough peace to go along with it.

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